I consider myself amongst the ranks of the “nice girls”. We try to show kindness to others, we want them to feel welcome and happy, we say friendly things, and when we think mean things, we (usually) keep them to ourselves. We’re not perfect, we’re just pretty nice.
Well, we nice girls have a dilemma. If you are one of these nice girls then you probably already know what’s coming next because it’s happened to you at least once, likely more. You see, as mentioned above, we like people to feel welcome, so we talk to the outsiders and the shy people, the ones who don’t have many friends or aren’t sure where they fit in. At a social gathering, we’re the ones who go talk to the person who’s sitting alone. It’s part of who we are – we’re being nice. Most of the time this works out well… when it’s aimed at another girl… However, when we’re nice to boys, well, that’s where we get into trouble.
We like to be nice to everyone – that is, after all, what makes us nice girls – and so we’re nice to lonely boys too. Unfortunately, sometimes they misread our niceness as interest, or they become infatuated with us because, well, no one else talks to them. They make advances and we try to tell them we’re not interested (in a nice way, of course). This usually doesn’t work so we have to take more drastic measures… and we end up feeling not so nice. In the end, we back off and leave them lonely again… just waiting for the next nice girl. (We could also call this the lonely boy paradox)
So what is a nice girl to do? After a situation like this we still see lonely boys and want to be nice, but we’re scared to talk to them. We know that if we don’t talk to them, it is likely that no one will. We are torn between going against our nature and putting ourselves in a potentially… awkward situation. This is our dilemma. What do we end up doing? Take a guess – we ARE nice girls after all.
*Sigh*
1 comment:
I'm with you there. Or at least I was. I found the answer -- get married or at least have a great imaginary boyfriend or husband somewhere. The situation you explained used to happen to me all the time. You feel great for a bit because you are talking to a lonely fellow and then there is the feeling of frustration when you realize you created a stalker.
Same scenario happened to me the other day when I was photographing a wedding and I forgot to wear my rings. One of the groom's men was making pleasant conversation with me and I realized he was one of those "lonely fellows who no one else would talk to." I quickly mentioned my adoring husband and could see the fallen look on his face. Then he hardly missed a beat and kept talking, no stalker vibe detected. He was happy and I could still be nice.
Yep, you need a man. :)
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