Shoes

I have this pair of shoes that I love. I have worn them all over multiple countries and states. They are casual and comfortable and ratty as could be. They have been glued several times – a testament to how much I love them. No matter how bad their condition, I cannot bear to give them up. They are my favorite pair and though I might try, no other pair will ever replace them.

But I still love shoe shopping and am a firm believer that one can never have too many shoes. There is so much variety and a fun new pair of shoes can help change up your old wardrobe and make you feel confident, classy, sexy, or stylish.

The problem with new shoes, however, is that they are almost never as comfortable as your old ones. They can be stiff, often giving you blisters. After you wear them a while it will get better, but there is an awkward breaking in period where you love them because they are new, but you hate them because they hurt.

I think life is a lot like shoes. Home and family are like that old pair of shoes. They have been with you through good and bad times and it may have taken some extra effort to keep things together, but it’s worth it. It is comfortable and natural and irreplaceable. When I am in Oregon, I feel like I’ve slipped on that pair of my favorite shoes. It feels cozy and right. Complications arise, but it’s familiar territory and I know how to deal with it. Even the difficult things are easy in a way. But sometimes you still long for something new.

Traveling is like finding a pair of new shoes that you love. It’s exciting and exotic, and you can imagine endless possibilities. Everything is an adventure and you’re eager to try it out.

Living abroad is like breaking in that new pair of shoes. It has been long enough that you start to become uncomfortable. Adventures can become frustrating as you realize that even easy tasks are difficult. Things are still new and interesting, but it isn’t as perfect as you once imagined. I love living in Korea. I am learning more about the world, myself, and God. It is a great life. But it isn’t necessarily comfortable. It can be both exciting and overwhelming, satisfying and infuriating. There are waves of emotions both positive and negative.

Sometimes I want to run home to that old pair of shoes where I can just relax. But I also love this new pair and I know that if I tough it out through the breaking in they will become more comfortable too. They can never replace those old favorites, but we can definitely have new favorites too! I don’t know how long God has me in Korea, but I do know that the discomfort is worth it and if I focus on the positive there are so many things that I can enjoy. And if/when God moves me somewhere else me feet will be toughened and ready to break in a new pair.

Reflections - Didn't see this coming...

Last month I celebrated my 28^th birthday. I feel 30 fast approaching and it’s kind of scary! 

10 years ago I had just graduated high school and the popular question was, “where do you see yourself 10 years from now?” Life has turned out pretty differently than 18 year old Melina thought it would. I thought I would be married and probably have a kid or two. I never imagined I would be independent enough to go off on my own adventures on the other side of the world. This isn’t the life I imagined for myself, but it is the one God gave me and it has a beauty all its own. Sometimes I wish things had gone differently, but I know these experiences are growing and shaping me. And I trust that God has a plan for me. 

View from my apt. Love it!

There are many things I love about my life right now. I ADORE my students. I want to hug them all and kiss the tops of their heads. And I LOVE that I am working in a country where I can hug them and be playful without worrying about a lawsuit. I LOVE the relationships I am building with friends and how I see God using me to build community. I LOVE that I can do something that makes a difference in people’s lives. I LOVE feeling like I mead a real impact and that I took initiative to follow through on something instead of just talking. I LOVE that I am able to be debt free and to pay for school as I go. I LOVE that I am in a place financially to enjoy life and be generous. I LOVE that I am able to live comfortably in another country – that I can experience new and exciting things while navigating this life fairly well on my own. I LOVE being unique and feeling free to do what I want because I will stand out no matter what I do – there is no feeling that I need to conform because conformity is IMPOSSIBLE. 

Can you find us?

There are so many wonderful things about the life I have right now. I have grown so much in the last 10 years and I feel that I am really starting to get a clearer picture of who God has made me to be. I know now that I am passionate about developing and nurturing COMMUNITY. I know that I am a MOTHER , regardless of whether or not I have my own children – I long to care for others. I know that I am a TEACHER, regardless of whether or not I have a classroom – I love helping people understand and discover things. I see God developing these qualities in me, using them in small ways now, and preparing me for the future. 

My Saturday Special Drama class performed "The Wizard of Oz"... slightly adapted... :)

So where do I see myself 10 years from NOW? I do hope I will be married and have a kid or two. I imagine myself as a missionary somewhere working side-by-side with my husband, bringing light to dark places and providing community for the isolated. But honestly, I really don’t know. And I think that is ok. As I have already seen so far, it may not turn out as I expect, but it is still good. So I am sure 10 years from now will be great because GOD IS GREAT and life with him is always the best. Hello 28 year old Melina. Focus on now. God’s got the rest under control.

Peace!

N.K. and Nineveh

I know a lot of people back home are worried about the whole situation with N.K., so here are a couple things to ease your minds. First, a message from the U.S. Embassy in Korea that I received this morning:

“The U.S. Embassy informs U.S. citizens that despite current political tensions with North Korea there is no specific information to suggest there are imminent threats to U.S. citizens or facilities in the Republic of Korea (ROK).  The Embassy has not changed its security posture and we have not recommended that U.S. citizens who reside in, or plan to visit, the Republic of Korea take special security precautions at this time.  The U.S. Embassy takes as its highest priority the welfare of American citizens in Korea.  Should the security situation change, the Embassy will issue updated information.”

Please don’t worry friends. :)

And second, all that being said, I am safest right where God wants me. Just think of Jonah! God wanted him in Nineveh, someplace so evil that God was threatening to destroy them. Jonah thought that was pretty crazy. There was no way God could REALLY want him to go someplace so dangerous! So, he ran the other way. And what happened? First, he almost got a whole shipload of people killed in a huge storm, and then he got eaten by a fish!

Eaten! 

By a giant fish! 

WHAT?! 

And when he finally got out of the fish, guess what, God hadn’t decided that Jonah was right and Nineveh was too dangerous after all. He didn’t say, “Since you’re so worried, I’ll let you go someplace else.” No, he gave him the same message, “Go to Nineveh.” And when Jonah obeyed God and went, was he in another storm? Did the people of Nineveh capture him and kill him? Did he get swallowed by any other bizarrely massive animals? Nope! Safe as could be. Now, if you’ve read the story you know that he even had a pretty bad attitude about the whole thing and he was still safe. He got a little reprimand at the end, but no smiting or anything.

So to sum it up: When Jonah tried to follow his own plan for safety he had trouble, but when he followed God’s seemingly crazy plan he was safe.

Does this mean that people who follow God will never have trouble and always be safe? Of course not. God works in many ways and sometimes trouble and danger are part of what it takes to bring God glory. When I’m following God, the trials I encounter help to draw others and myself closer to God. What more could I hope for my life?!

But if I’m running from God, trying to live a life away from danger and hardship, first off, I won’t succeed, and second, I won’t bring glory to God. Double fail. And ... I really don’t want to smell like fish…

So, please keep N.K. in your prayers. Regardless of what happens, the people who live there are still suffering. Pray for N.K. to be like Nineveh! Pray for them to turn from their wickedness and be saved! It may sound impossible and crazy, but after all, God’s crazy plans are the best.

Korea 2.0 - 1 Month In

Has it really been a month? The calendar says yes, but it is still hard for me to believe. I arrived in Korea the evening of October 3^rd and hit the ground running. Adjusting was more difficult for me this time around, probably because I had more expectations about what life here would be like… Communication has not always been as clear as I prefer and I have been finding out what I am doing one week, sometimes one day, at a time, BUT God is good and I really am enjoying my time back in Korea.

I am once again attending Global Mission Church where I went before and it is good to be back in that fellowship. My first Sunday the message was perfect for me. There was a guest speaker preaching on Philippians 1 and he talked about how being in prison wasn’t exactly Paul’s original ministry plan – things didn’t turn out as he had expected, but he was able to redefine his problem and see how God was using it for his purposes. When I came back to Korea I found that my situation was not what I had expected and at first I was really disappointed, but God has been teaching me to look for his will and opportunities in every situation. In the end, it doesn’t matter where I live or work, as long as I am seeking God and letting him use me, it will be great.

A small glimpse of how God is answering my prayers: When I first got here I was subbing at different branches, so I didn’t really get to know any of the other teachers, and I didn’t have a phone so contacting my friends in another city was difficult. One morning I was so lonely and while Skyping with my mom I said, “I just want someone to eat lunch with! And I want my phone so I don’t feel so isolated!” … That evening there was a knock on my door. A Christian couple from my apt building was standing there with a package, “Your phone arrived at the office today so we are bringing it by. Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?” Thank you Lord! I could go on and on about the many ways God has blessed me this month! I am so grateful for new friends and for the strengthening of old friendships.

I have been working at the same branch of my school for a couple weeks now, but I still don’t know if that is where I will stay or if I will move again. There is a chance that I will move to another city (where I lived the last time I was in Korea), but as of right now, I only know what I am doing this week… and that’s ok.

And now some pictures... I don't have a real camera right now, *sniffle* so you just get the few grainy pics from my phone...

View from my apt.

View at night.

What's this little closet?

Oh look! It's a bathroom!

Yup, I'm back in Korea!

Making cheat-sheets for my washer.

Shopping can be a challenge... which one do I get?...

There were adorable kids throwing the fallen Ginko leaves at each other at the base of Namsan Tower... unfortunately my camera reaction time is so slow that none of the pics actually captured the throwing part... oh well. They're still adorable little kids in fall leaves.

That boy in green is getting ready to throw those on his dad. Dad took it pretty well.

Melina

Moving Back to Move Forward

January 1, 2010 I got on a plane bound for South Korea where I spent a wonderful and stretching 14 months. Korea was exactly what I needed in 2010. 

Korean Lanterns

By the end of my contract I knew that I really needed to be back with my family for a bit, so I boarded another plane bound for the States. 2011 and 2012 have been spent in Oregon and I’m confident that it’s exactly what I needed. 

Love these ladies!

Last summer with Dad's Side of the family (My father, the bionic man...)

Now, it’s time for the next step. I’m going back to Korea… because sometimes moving forward means moving back.

One of many pearls of wisdom found on Korean notebooks...

I don’t have a job their yet, but I’m I anticipate leaving sometime in the fall or winter. While I don’t know exactly when I leave, or at what type of school I’ll teach, I will go back to the Bundang area where I was before. I look forward to reconnecting with friends and attending the same church. Honestly, just thinking about going back makes me so happy that I know it’s the right decision. The moment I allowed myself to think, “I’m going back,” I felt peace and excitement. I’d say that’s a pretty good sign.

Of course, there are things I’ll miss here – people I won’t get to see, events I won’t be able to attend, but that’s life, right? I think I’ve finally come to realize that I need to focus more on what I’ll miss if I DON’T do something than what I’ll miss if I DO. If I DON’T go to Korea now I’ll miss a great opportunity to travel and work with little commitment, I’ll miss developing friendships with people I met before and might never had a chance to see again, I’ll miss exploring more deeply a culture and language that I have come to appreciate, I’ll miss going off on my own. I don’t want to miss out. I need to live my life excited about what’s to come, not regretting what I’ll miss. Life’s too short and all that.

So, here’s to moving forward – getting on with life and taking that next step. For me right now moving forward means moving back. What does it look like for you?

Parable 3 - The Ridge (Holding on to His Belt Loops)

            One day a young girl and her father embarked on a journey. “Where are we going?” she asked. “Somewhere very special,” he replied, “Just wait and see.” She smiled and slipped her hand in his as they walked across a green meadow.

            Soon they came to a forest. “Is this it?” she asked. “We’re just passing through here,” he answered, “but enjoy the nice view.” The little girl ran from tree to tree, pointing out each new and exciting thing that she saw.

            As they neared the edge of the forest the father sat down and took out some lunch. Before she could ask, he said, “This isn’t it, we’re just stopping to eat.” “Let’s keep going!” she cried, “I’m not hungry yet!” Her father smiled, “I’m glad you’re excited, but the next part of our journey is very difficult. I want you to rest a bit first.” The little girl sat down reluctantly and through the whole meal tried to guess where they would go next. Her father replied, “Just be patient.”

            Once finished, they walked out of the forest and found themselves at the foot of a large mountain. The girl’s eyes widened, “But I’m afraid of high places…” “It’s ok,” her father replied, “Just hold my hand.”

            Part way up the mountain they came to a narrow ridge. The father stopped and turned to his daughter, “Now dear, this is the most dangerous part of our journey, but once we cross this ridge we will be to our destination.” The girl looked from her father to the ridge, “But it’s not wide enough! How can I hold your hand? Isn’t there another way?” Her father smiled with compassion, “No dear, this is the only way, but we can do it together. I want you to walk right behind me and hold on tight to my belt loops. Don’t let go. Just follow my steps.”

            They walked to the ridge and the girl laced her little fingers through her father’s belt loops as instructed. They stepped out onto the ridge and took a few steps. “I can’t see where to step!” cried the little girl. Her father replied, “You don’t need to watch the ground. We’ll go slowly, just move each foot with mine.”

            They went a little further. The girl became more confident and looked over the side of the ridge. She imagined herself tipping over the edge and gasped, “It’s so far down!” She tottered slightly. “It doesn’t matter how far it is,” replied her father, “because we’re not going to fall.” The girl tightened her grip on her father’s belt loops. He nodded, “Good. Just keep your eyes on me.”

            After this they went on quite nicely for quite some time. The girl became bored. “Where are we going?” she asked, “Will we be there soon?” “Soon enough,” her father replied. She grew irritated, “Why can’t I know? I can’t see anything back here! Can we trade places for a bit? You could hold my belt loops!” Her father paused, “Dear, it doesn’t work that way. I know you want to see, but I want to keep you safe. Please, just trust me.” She began to protest, but he stopped her, “Instead of worrying about where we’re going, try to enjoy where we are.”

            The girl fumed for a while in silence, angry with her father for taking her on this dangerous ridge, angry that he wouldn’t tell her where they were going or even let her see the way. She trudged along in unspoken rebellion, glaring into her father’s back. She thought of his words, “Enjoy where we are,” What’s to enjoy?  She stamped her little feet.

            Eventually, stamping made her tired. A breeze came and cooled her hot cheeks and combed through her hair. It carried a scent of mountain flowers and pines. She frowned, trying to hold on to her frustration. It occurred to the girl that she could hear birds singing not far away. She felt her anger slowly melting. As she quieted herself, she even enjoyed the sound of their footsteps falling. She listened carefully and matched the rhythm of her steps with her father’s. Before long she was humming a tune in time with their steps and swaying slightly with their slow steady gait.

            Suddenly her father stopped. “We’re here,” he called over his shoulder. The girl felt strangely disappointed and, looking down, realized for the first time that they were no longer on the ridge. She asked timidly, “Already?” Her father laughed and stepped to one side as she released her grip on his belt loops. “Just look,” he said. The little girl gasped in amazement and started to rush forward. Then, remembering their time on the ridge, she grasped her father’s hand, “Can we go together?” Her father smiled, “My thoughts exactly.”

Parable 2: The King and His Servants

There once was a good and powerful king with wealth beyond imagining. As he looked out over his kingdom he saw people living in hardship, unable to find honest work. This broke the king’s heart. So he sent out a proclamation that he would provide work for any in need and would pay them from his own riches. In the following weeks floods of people came through the palace courts to receive their assignments and soon the whole land was living in prosperity.

As news of the king’s greatness spread, people from distant lands began traveling to see if it was really true, and if they too could find work. One day, two such travelers entered a town at the edge of the kingdom. “Let us separate,” the first man said to the other, “and talk to the people of this town so that we can learn about the king before we meet him.” The second man thought this was a wise plan so each went his own way, agreeing to meet at the inn come nightfall.

That evening the two men sat at a table with hot food and cold drinks and told their stories. The first man began, “After we parted ways I wandered up and down the streets looking for a place to break my fast. I saw two men and greeted them, but when they realized I was from out of town they attacked me and stole my purse. I was astounded. Why would they do this when they are employed by their king? I was not badly hurt, so I got to my feet. As I walked a woman called to me from an open doorway, “Traveler! You look in need of a bowl of hot soup and some bread. Come, eat!” I approached and told her that I would like nothing better, but that I had no money. She frowned and told me to go to the king, who would give me a job. I asked if it were true that the king would give work to any who asked. Her frown lifted and she told me of the king’s great love and generosity. She told me how her own family had prospered, and that I had only to ask and I too would receive all these things. I replied that I had, in fact, been on my way to visit the king, but had been attacked by two men who stole my money. She seemed very upset and for a moment I thought she might invite me in to eat. Instead she again told me to go to the king. The gnawing at my stomach made me bold, so I asked, “Lady, since you have been so richly blessed, might you spare a bowl of soup to help me on my way?” She took a step back into the house and replied, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to take care of my own. Come back after you have seen the king and you will receive a most hearty welcome. Good day Sir.” With that she disappeared inside and shut the door. The rest of the day I walked the streets receiving much the same greetings. I think we should leave this place at first light. The king is most surely a wicked man.”

The second man was taken aback by this final statement and asked his friend to explain. The first man went on, “What kind of king employs evil men who would attack an unarmed traveler? And if that weren’t enough, there’s the woman who refused to help me in my need. I think that the king must not really be generous, but forces them to praise him as if he is. Why else would this woman be unable to spare even one bowl of soup?”

The first man finished and sat back with his drink to listen to the second man. He began, “Well, after we parted ways I walked to the center of town and sat myself down at the foot of a statue in the middle of the square. I sat there all day and watched. People came and went, some stopped to talk to me and others passed by without so much as a glance. From my seat I saw, down one alley, three men come stumbling out of a bar, heavy from a night of drinking, and cursing and punching as though each had been wronged by the entire world. Down another alley I saw an old woman struggling to carry a large burden. As she stepped into the light of the square a man sitting at his breakfast saw her and immediately went to help. I saw pick-pockets and prostitutes, I saw charity and thoughtfulness. One man shared his lunch with me and another spat on me. I think we should continue on in the morning. I, for one, am eager to meet this king.”

The first man sat forward, nearly spilling his drink, “What! Why? Those who serve him are no better than – are even worse than the rest of the world. A few may be good, but that certainly does not justify the actions of the rest!”

The second man nodded, “It is true that some of the people here are evil, but just because they live in the king’s town does not mean they are employed by the king. It is quite possible that they live here because it is comfortable, or they were raised here, but choose not to work for the king. It is even possible that they live here because they think the people are easy prey. Also, the king swore to provide work for all who come to him, not just the pleasant people. Surely not all of his servants reflect him. I want to meet this king and see for myself. It may be that you are right and if so, we have only lost a few days. However, it may be that I am right and we will soon be rewarded for our trouble. So what will it be? Shall we judge the king by his servants, or by the man himself?”