Do you remember the movie Memento? Leonard can’t make new memories so he relies on Polaroid pictures and tattoos all over his body to help him keep track of people and clues to solving his wife’s murder. Or how about, on the lighter side, 50 First Dates where Lucy falls for Harry over and over, but forgets him each day. Committed to pursuing her, he reminds her repeatedly of their love and works with her dad and brother to help give her a normal life.
In some ways I’m an awful lot like poor Leonard and Lucy – God shows his faithfulness to me again and again, but I can’t seem to remember it for very long. Each time something in my life does not go as planned (and let’s face it, that’s pretty darn often) my first instinct is to panic and cry, “God! Why aren’t you taking care of me?!” I yell at him for a while and tell him how disappointed I am. Eventually I calm down, but I let him know that this is still a problem and he needs to fix it… and you know what – he does. Then my prayers switch to, “God! You’re so good! How could I have doubted you? Never again!”… until the next time something goes wrong…
Is there something wrong with my head?! Why is it that when things don’t go my way I automatically doubt God’s faithfulness? It’s embarrassing! Unlike Leonard and Lucy, I don’t have some traumatic experience to explain my poor memory – just the opposite – I have every reason to remember. And like Harry, in 50 First Dates, God keeps showing me how much he loves me even though I forget him and question his goodness. Wow. If someone treated me the way I treat God, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t still be sticking around. But thankfully, he’s God and I am not! *Whew*
In my life right now I can think of several situations that are not playing out the way I anticipated. Some of them are being resolved before my eyes, but with others I’m still waiting. So rather than fall back into my bad habit, I am reminding myself of God’s faithfulness. I may not see how this could possibly resolve, but I do know he’s always taken care of me in the past so I have every reason to believe that he will do it again. I may be forgetful, but he certainly is not.
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